I made this paper draft and submitted it to the professor she returned it with her comments and feedback so please read the feedback carefully and fix the issues within it. the paper is Rhetorical analysis written about a video in this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MqTOEospfo Feedback: Overall comments: you make some good observations in the paper. You are entirely right in bringing up our Founding Fathers, the ones like Franklin and Jefferson who so respected science. They seem to have foreseen that science could and would lead to great things in this country. Is there a way you can bring your comments about our forefathers into your thesis for the paper? Tyson doesn’t mention those science-loving forefathers, but he does implicitly rely on them and what they helped make possible—an unleashing of science from the bonds of religion and royal edict. Also, if you want to give examples of recent efforts to shut down science, that’s fine, but give more details and give dates. Wording and organization are the biggest concerns here. Reading aloud will help a lot—you can better hear what’s not working and address it. In regard to organization, I suggest you outline your own paper. Go through it paragraph by paragraph and figure out what you’re saying. Then you can place similar material together and present the material logically—what should be presented first, second, etc.