Project Summary: I wrote a biography essay and my teacher give his feedback just today and I want one to follow his feedback to fix it. ("Get rid of the first paragraph and come up with a clear, pointed thesis statement. There's too much background in the first 2 paragraphs. Get to the point, state your thesis and then set about proving it and analyzing the historical significance of Frobisher's voyage. Focus on one event - leave out all the stuff about the Armada & after unless you want to focus on one of those things. ONE EVENT! If this is all you had for source material, it's a bit late to flesh that out, but you don't really have much to work with. You're using one account of Frobisher's voyage and a 200-year-old description of Greenland. Not much to work with.") this is his feedback.